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Men do not have issue on how women are shown in mainstream movies or porn. The media which shows the heterosexual world is always from a heterosexual cis-male gaze.
The Aravaani communities in our culture, and the Hijras in North India play important roles in reminding us of our fluid history and combatting stigma. This can be repeated until both parties are sure there is mutual interest and a conversation can take place.
The fluidity of sexuality, gender identity, and expression are hard topics to raise in everyday settings.